endless anger endless anger

t    h    e        p    a    i    n        o    f        t    h    e        s    o    u    l    s    e    a    r    c    h        r    e    n    e    w    s

return to Dust

Uplift, now downshift
Grumble, grind, the crushing weight
Depressive, repressive, little red rivers
Shattered, tattered, under cracked moon rising
Gyrate, eviscerate, how can this be?
Picture perfect colors dissolved
Heavenly icebeams radiate cold
Discorporating slivers puncture life
Detonation minddeath splatters
Turn of the screw, binding down
Blood swirling, whirlpool drowning fingers
Tears wrenching pain, cry skyward ignored
Amputated soulheartmind rejection, carnivorous goblin shred
        SO MUCH
Icebound burial of evercold lingers
Never Never Never escape Never Never Never
Circle spin tornado hobbles legs
Dust and mud give no solace
Final hour, now devour


!step back!
!just get away!
You don't understand my struggle
You don't care about me

!back up!
!don't touch me!
I don't believe your lies
I don't feel your sincerity

You batter me with your fists.
You bloody me with your gavel.
You sentence me in your ignorance.
You execute me in my innocence.
I can't relate to you.
You are so unlike me.

Your presence sickens me.

(sickens me unto death)

I am dying from your words.

(words formed in hate)

Your form brings no peace.
Your eyes bring no solace.
Your face shows no beauty.
Your embrace holds no warmth.

Murder is what you seek,
And you don't even know it.
You think you're my friend,
But you just slit my throat.
I have but a few words for you:


veileD helL

I aM dyinG withiN anD I cannoT brinG myselF tO telL thiS tO yoU.  I wanT tO sO mucH I
cannoT expresS hoW mucH.  I dO noT wanT mY paiN tO spreaD tO yoU buT I dO noT
wanT tO bE sO alonE.  I neeD A frienD morE thaN anythinG righT noW.  I aM scareD
anD I dO noT knoW whaT tO dO oR whaT directioN tO takE.  I dO noT eveN knoW
hoW yoU woulD feeL iF I leT yoU heaR mY agonY.  I cannoT takE takE anY
rejectioN aT thiS poinT.  I maY noT eveN takE thE chancE.  I aM weaK I
knoW.  I aM finisheD.  I havE A thousanD thingS I woulD telL yoU iF I
coulD onlY brinG myselF tO leavE myselF opeN.  I aM afraiD tO dO
thaT becausE lettinG dowN mY defenseS coulD bE disastrouS.  I
coulD bE hurT bY yoU.  I dO noT thinK thaT yoU woulD dO
thaT buT lifE iS crueL anD yoU mighT bE toO.  I cannoT
brinG myselF tO takE thaT risK righT noW.  I jusT dO
noT knoW whaT yoU woulD dO.  I woulD reacH ouT
mY hanD iF I thoughT yoU woulD takE iT.  I woulD
diE froM disappointmenT aT thiS poinT becausE
mY unmendeD woundS arE infecteD.  I aM aT
conflicT witH myselF anD mY fearS whicH
overwhelM mE.  I thinK I neeD tO leT
thiS alL ouT oR I aM goinG tO roT
froM thE insidE.  I guesS mY
indecisioN iS goinG tO kilL
mE buT I cannoT changE I
dO noT thinK.  I cannoT
reaD yoU anD thaT
wilL bE mY
I aM nothinG
compareD tO yoU anD I wisH I coulD seE
yoU acrosS thE chasM.  I cannoT walK I aM afraiD sO whaT I desirE wilL
noT comE tO pasS.  I knoW iT iS noT okaY tO crY buT mY lifE iS noT okaY righT noW okaY?


Four clear walls surrounding.
The invisible box of hate.
Four demons torture performing.
Death glowing tarnished fate.

  You beat me down because
It's me you dieify.

Gold silver glass exploding.
The horrific sphere of pain.
Weak outer frame impaling.
Blood drinking hypnotic stain.

  You vamp my life because
It's me you dieify.

Two clenched hammers pounding.
Upward gore splattered streak.
Two souls destruction sounding.
Strong torment devils speak.

  You take my smiles because
It's me you dieify.

Infected splinter skin piercing.
Parasite burrowed inside.
Death dealing mutant wailing.
Flesh tearing talon tide.

  You crushed my lung because
It's me you dieify.

Zero vocal strings singing.
Flesh needle stitching churn.
Life red fire leaking.
Bog boil cauldron burn.

  You won the game because
It's me you dieify.

zer0 regress

I am going down
I must not revert
I am going down
I will not invert

i    n    n    e    r    d    w    e    l    l    i    n    g        c    r    e    a    t    u    r    e    s        r    e    l    e    a    s    e    d


 this page and it's contents copyright (c) 1999 by ethan cooper